Creating My Bucket List Amidst Cancer Challenges

Facing a cancer diagnosis feels overwhelming, leaving many individuals grappling with fear, uncertainty, and a sense of loss. However, amidst these challenges, creating a bucket list can serve as a powerful tool for empowerment and hope. It allows you to focus on what truly matters, prioritize your dreams, and embrace life fully, even in the face of adversity. This blog post will explore my cancer story and how I've made progress to creating a meaningful bucket list while navigating the complexities of cancer treatment.

My Cancer History

I first found a mole on my back in 2023 that turned out to be melanoma. After having a wide recision in April, I thought nothing of it and the next 10 months were just your mundane day to day work life and trying to establish a less lonely life in the West Kootenays, to where I came back for its beauty and my family connections here.

Around January 2024, I found a lump on my neck in my lymphnode. This turned out to be melanoma, which constituted as stage 3. At this point it was still curable, so they removed the lump and recovery from the operation was relatively fast. I went back to living my life and had just started dating my current boyfriend Dean at that time. We were both off work so we connected fast and with his help I got to start exploring the outdoors and my backyard learning a great appreciation for many spots in the bush and hiking trails around Castlegar, BC.

The summer of 2024 was beautiful. We got up to something almost every day from hikes to intertubes down the Slocan river. But the tumor on my neck started growing back. The local surgeon had been in an accident and could not remove the tumor again. I kept calling BC Cancer trying to get adequate attention, but the best they did for me was schedule an appointment with a surgeon in Kelowna in early August. When she finally saw me, she was very alarmed and promoted the idea of getting me on systemic therapies as soon as possible. They scheduled my first round of immunotherapy with Opdivo and Yervoy.

This was late. I had really slipped through the cracks that summer as I should have been on these therapies back in May once I'd recovered from the surgery. I don't know why stuff got waylaid, but it did and it wasn't good.

By mid August 2024, I started having significant pain in my hips and lower back. I felt like I was going to die and bought a mechanical bed and started ramping up my mood disorder into a state of mania. My mom and I couldn't go to Europe because my passport expired too soon, so we planned a road trip to California. During this trip my pain ramped up more and I had severe nerve pain in my hips. Sitting up in bed became very difficult. I was walking like an octagenarian by the end of the trip. All because a very aggressive case of melanoma because my PET scan from the end of August revealed bony metastasis to spine in several areas. This required re-evaluation of the treatment plan because immunotherapy didn't work.

September 2024, My Last Treatment Option Began

They've come a long way in treatments for melanoma. Just 5 years ago, the bony metastasis would have been a death sentence of less than a year. At the time, I was living with this life/death expectancy. I didn't know what the treatments would do.

The treatment option is the final step of what they can do for melanoma; it is a combination of pills brand named Braftovi and Mektovi. I started taking the highest dose, 6 large Braftovi pills daily and three Mektovi pills in the morning, three at night. Radiation was scheduled for November, a course of 5 treatments over the week. The process was relatively simple and I only vomited one time the first evening after. On this trip to Kelowna, I believe I had a PET Scan and it revealed that I was responding well to the new treatment plan.

Within about 2 months the pain was gone and my next PET scan was scheduled. I managed to ween off all pain management medications and life went back to normal. It just involved taking the pills every day. Still, I was only taking 10 pills a day, living quite well with our weekly adventures into the backcountry.

Dean and I went on a couple trips and bought a travel trailer in 2025. We went to Victoria in May, and then back to Sooke with his teenage daughters in August. The side effects from the pills were minimal until then, when my appetite started to be affected more severely and I started needing medication to reduce stomach acid in addition.

My house sold in early October, just before our trip to Italy with Globus. Then I moved in with Dean full time, and I was in a holding pattern of the 10 pills everyday, the only downside was worsening nausea and I was struggling to eat. This was awful but manageable. My PET Scans kept coming back clear with no signs of cancer spread and the bony mets were no longer appearing in the scans. However in January 2026, I got alarming results from my echocardiogram.

The Alarming Echocardiogram and New Treatment Plan

It turns out the Mektovi impacted my heart function reducing my ejection fracture to 50%. The doctors immediately decided I needed to stop taking the Mektovi and my dose of Braftovi was also reduced to 4 pills a day. This is when all hell broke loose.

I started with my new treatment regimen of only 4 pills of Braftovi, and coincidentally perhaps, I went into a pain spiral in early February that with the use of bone scans and CAT scans they could only attribute to arthritis. This started me back on a pain management program where I'm taking hydromorphone, but also a lot of other medications now to counteract negative side-effects like drowsiness. I've actually been quite low energy the whole cancer journey, but now I have some stimulants added into the protocol to make my days more awake and functional.

Luckily, one benefit is that my appetite has improved since stopping Mektovi, but unfortunately there are some negative side effects that have become more apparent.

I have suffered from a hand and foot syndrome where calluses have thickened my hands and the soles of my feet are yellow with hyperkeratosis. It has made walking more painful and there is definite nerve pain in my feet near my heels. It's caused difficulty sleeping without pain management meds. Now I'm taking a significant amount of those.

The other shitty side effect is that hair loss has started. I think being on the two pills some of the negative side effects were blocked. For example, my hair changed in texture and got curlier and thicker, but since I stopped taking Mektovi, I have had some hair loss, sort of like a heavy shed, but now it's thin enough that I have to look into hair pieces and wigs.

Between April 13th and the 28th, my mom and I took our first European trip together, we went on a cruise in Spain out of Barcelona. The whole time on this trip my feet were in a lot of pain and walking was extremely slow and difficult. Meanwhile, I brushed my long hair into a ponytail daily, shedding approximately 100-200 strands per styling.

Stopping my Medication

On May 8th, 2026, I decided to take a break from the medication. I stopped taking the Braftovi all together. This was a temporary stop, because the doctors are going to look into me doing an intermittent schedule where I take the pills for a few weeks and then get a week break or so.

Since stopping, improvements in my feet pain were almost immediate. Dean and I got back to doing local adventures. Now we're going to have to plan some camping trips and for a fun summer in our backyard.

Things are very uncertain from a treatment perspective, but I'm alive and I didn't think I would be back in September 2024. I take pride in the attitude I've manifested towards this illness and my personal challenges with it.

Understanding the Importance of a Bucket List

To me a bucket list is more of an attitude towards planning to do things than an actual list of goals. A bucket list represents a personal manifesto of dreams and aspirations. For those facing cancer or other health struggles, it can provide a sense of purpose and motivation. Here are a few reasons why creating a bucket list is beneficial:

• Focus on Positivity: A bucket list encourages you to shift your focus from illness to experiences that bring joy and fulfillment.

• Encourages Action: Writing down goals can inspire you to take actionable steps toward achieving them, no matter how small.

• Strengthens Relationships: Many bucket list items involve shared experiences with loved ones, fostering deeper connections.

• Promotes Mindfulness: Engaging in activities from the list can enhance the appreciation of the present moment.

  
  

Steps to Create Your Bucket List

Creating a bucket list can be an exciting and introspective process. Here are some steps to guide you through it:

1. Reflect on Your Values and Passions

Begin by considering what truly matters to you. Ask yourself:

• What are my passions?

• What experiences have I always wanted to have?

• What values do I want to honor in my life?

  
  

This reflection will help you identify meaningful goals that resonate with your true self.

For me personally, travel was a big item on the list because at the age of 41 when I got my cancer diagnosis, I had only been on a trip to England in my early 20s. I knew I wanted to see Europe - Italy, Spain, France to name a few. It's been amazing to have travelled to some of these places and to be able to make plans for future trips.

2. Set Realistic and Achievable Goals

While it’s important to dream big, it’s equally essential to set goals that are realistic given your current circumstances. Consider breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. For example:

• Instead of “travel the world,” you might set a goal to visit a specific country.

• Rather than “run a marathon,” aim to walk a certain distance or participate in a local fun run.

  
  

It can be difficult to balance treatment with travel and other plans. Luckily for me, pills being the treatment plan means that I can travel. Our goals for the summer are just to enjoy our local backyard. We'll have to get out in the travel trailer and do a few weeks at local spots.

3. Include a Variety of Experiences

Your bucket list should encompass a range of experiences, from adventurous activities to simple pleasures. Here are some categories to consider:

• Adventure: Skydiving, hiking a challenging trail, or taking a hot air balloon ride.

• Travel: Visiting a new country, exploring a national park, or taking a road trip.

• Personal Growth: Learning a new skill, attending a workshop, or reading a certain number of books.

• Relationships: Spending quality time with family and friends, or reconnecting with an old friend.

  
  

4. Prioritize Your List

Once you have a good sense of things you want to achieve, you can prioritize the items based on what excites you the most. This will help you focus on what you want to achieve first and keep you motivated.

I really prefer flexibility in my day to day life, so my plans are not so rigid. All I'm working on for an elaborate plan is travel to Dublin and France in September.

5. Share Your List with Loved Ones

Sharing your bucket list with family and friends can create a support system that encourages you to pursue your goals. They may even want to join you in some of the experiences, making them even more special.

Overcoming Challenges in Pursuing Your Bucket List

While creating a bucket list is an empowering step, pursuing it can come with challenges, especially during cancer treatment. Here are some strategies to help you overcome these obstacles:

1. Be Flexible

Your health and circumstances may change, so it’s important to remain flexible with your goals. If you can’t complete an item as planned, consider modifying it to fit your current situation. For example, if traveling is difficult, explore local attractions instead.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

Cancer can bring uncertainty, but focusing on what you can control can help reduce anxiety. This might include your attitude, the way you approach your goals, and the support you seek from others.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

Every step you take toward your bucket list is worth celebrating. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and allow yourself to feel proud of your achievements.

4. Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your journey can provide encouragement and motivation, making it easier to pursue your goals.

Inspiring Bucket List Ideas

To help you get started, here are some inspiring bucket list ideas tailored for those facing cancer:

• Adventure: Go zip-lining or take a scenic train ride. Last summer, Dean and I went ziplining at Kokanee creek just outside of Nelson. It was a fun day.

• Travel: Visit a botanical garden or a historical site nearby.

• Personal Growth: Take a cooking class or learn to play a musical instrument.

• Relationships: Organize a family game night or a picnic in the park.

  
  

The Role of Mindfulness in Your Journey

Incorporating mindfulness into your journey can enhance your experiences making it feel like you're crossing items off a bucket list. Mindfulness encourages you to be present and fully engage in each moment. Here are some ways to practice mindfulness:

• Meditation: Spend a few minutes each day meditating to clear your mind and focus on your intentions.

• Gratitude Journaling: Keep a journal to reflect on what you are grateful for each day, including the experiences from your bucket list.

• Mindful Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to help manage stress and stay grounded.

These types of activities become really important in managing day to day stress and letting go of the things you have no control over. This blog will be like my gratitude journal, and I'm eager to share some of the experiences I've taken on since my diagnosis that have given me a sense of pride and direction despite the uncertainty and negative side-effects from my treatment protocol.

Conclusion

Creating a bucket list amidst cancer challenges can be a transformative experience. It will allow you to reclaim your sense of agency, focus on what truly matters, and embrace life with renewed vigor. By reflecting on your values, setting achievable goals, and seeking support, you can create a meaningful list that inspires you to live fully. Remember, it’s not just about the destination but the journey itself. So take that first step today, and let your bucket list guide you toward a life filled with purpose and joy.